Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Yoga is stillness.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Yoga is self awareness.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Yoga is time tested.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: Yoga is unity.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Yoga is secular.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Yoga is evolution.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Yoga is spiritual.
[00:00:34] Speaker C: Yoga is healing Connection Foundation.
[00:00:41] Speaker D: This is yoga scution.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: So, Gina, we're excited, aren't we?
[00:00:49] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh, we are so excited.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: We've got three guests on today's yoga scution. And we have Emily Brown, Jess Ryan, Steph Hanson, people we know back from our Laramie, Wyoming time. These are three amazing individuals who touch the lives of many, including the lives of yours and mine. And it's just such a real treat to be able to share a yoga discussion with them today.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, this is going to be a good one. I'm so excited.
[00:01:26] Speaker C: Oh, this is amazing.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: Hi, everybody.
[00:01:32] Speaker D: Hi, friends.
[00:01:34] Speaker C: I feel like I'm seeing you all for the first time.
Like, this is crazy. It feels so strange.
[00:01:40] Speaker E: Hi.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Yeah, Gina and I were just sharing with the world that how much the three of you touched our lives and the lives of. Of many. And so maybe that's an okay segue, Emily, Jess, and Steph for us to maybe just talk a little bit about, you know, the. If you want to call it the magic that was Blossom Yoga when the three of you were helming the teacher trainings and creating all those amazing experiences for people. There you go.
[00:02:14] Speaker D: It's a long time ago now, right?
[00:02:17] Speaker E: I know. I was thinking about that. I was like, oh, yeah, that was like three to five Jesses ago.
I feel like Emily should start because you started Blossom without the yoga teacher training. So, like, the seed of Blossom was you. Was you. And then we became a bit of a traveling force.
[00:02:40] Speaker C: Yes, very quickly after, I think, you know, the journey kind of started out with, like, typical.
I attended yoga teacher training in Boulder, Colorado, and then moved to Laramia, Wyoming, and really didn't know what I wanted to do with my life other than I love to create businesses and I love to follow whatever kind of brings me joy and what I'm passionate and excited about. And so that meant I was like, I'm gonna open a yoga studio, which came with, you know, at the time, a small town, all of its own, kind of like drama and, you know, big decisions and fraught with, like, you know, at that time, what was. Seemed like a scary first step for me.
But so that that started and then not very long after, I connected with. I mean, I'd been friends with you, Jess, for so long and taught yoga and all of that stuff. So you were always kind of a part of the picture in terms of friendship and in that realm. And then Steph Kind of. I brought Steph. You weren't living in town at the time. Steph was. Steph was taking a yoga teacher training program. And here's the thing, is that I've learned this about myself. So since lots about myself since this. All of this happened, and since we've collaborated and built and grown together as friends and business partners, but I need collaboration, and I need people to work in conjunction with. It's where I'm at my best and also just where it fills in the gaps of where I feel not as confident and, you know, kind of where I feel like some of my strengths and weaknesses lie. So Steph came in to the fold really quickly, and then Jess moved back to town and that it just snowballed into what we, the three of us then created as, you know, Blossom Yoga and then became Blossom Yoga teacher Training, and then I think it became Dharma after that. So that's kind of the. The segue into kind of what we all built together.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Jess, Steph, do you have additions?
[00:04:41] Speaker E: Yeah. Like, Em and I have known each other. We were teaching at a yoga studio when I was living here in Laramie in 2007. I had moved away and started my own yoga studio as well, with a different.
A different person. And I, you know, coming back, I will say, and I think this will probably show up in a lot of the themes and a lot of the things that we talk about, but I really do believe there was something, some type of divine timing, divine force, Dharma, that was running through us because it felt like we had to do it. We had to do it, and we had to do it together. And we had to see each other and ourselves and the crew of people that went through this. I can't wait to talk about that a little bit more. But there was something bigger working through us because it wasn't always easy. It wasn't always easy.
And at the same time, you know, like, three people with big energies and personalities and at the same time, like, three people who I think really love each other and, like, super, super respect each other. And I think it. That is a really unique combination that you don't always get to be in the presence of people who are genuinely, like, we were working through our.
We were holding space.
It was a really formative time for me in a lot of different ways. Yoga, asana, big. Why yoga? And I think just like, personally, Personally. And so that's where I have to start now, is that there was some force. There was a force step.
[00:06:27] Speaker D: A lot of people talk about not mixing the Friendships and the business thing. But somehow it was the only way to do it. It was actually probably the only way we could be friends was through our business connection. And not the. I mean, of course. But it all enforced everything. You know, it all was a virtuous feedback loop. And, yeah, we would have to work through our stuff together and meanwhile support people through a process of their own growth. And that was kind of cool to be. To have all the parallel lives going on at once altogether. We do talk about it a lot as the kind of the good old days, for sure.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: Thanks, everyone. Yeah, I'm wondering, Emily, like, when you were starting the business up, did you kind of just see a real need in the community of Laramie, Wyoming, at the time? Do you think it was just kind of. The soil was ripe, maybe for something. Maybe you can touch on that a little bit.
[00:07:34] Speaker C: I don't know. You know, and the thing is, Stu, is you have to remember this was all happening when I was, like, 23 years old. I mean, this was a long time ago. I'm 43 right now, so we're talking, like, I feel like Jess said this was two or three Jesses ago. It feels like this was a version of myself that still. Parts of her exist, but have definitely changed and evolved in many ways. So I would say that there wasn't much thought put into it other than the feeling of. And I get this a lot, and I have learned to trust this and follow this in my life when it comes up, when it bubbles up. But there was just something inside of me that's like, I just. I have to do this. Like, this is something I need to do, I want to do. I see a pathway to make it happen. There wasn't really a business plan, a gap analysis, you know, all the ways that I might go about it as a. As a grown adult, understanding what's at stake. At that time, it's like, I really didn't have anything to lose. And that was, like, what I just had to do. So no other real, real thought or processing around that. It was also 2008, and so it was right after the big, like, downturn in the market, and, like, all of this crazy stuff happened. I remember I could not get a loan to business, so I was, like, trying to apply because I'm.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: I.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: At that time, I'm like, I need $3,000, which now just seems like nothing at all, you know, but it was like, I need 3,000. I asked my parents and I tried to apply for credit cards, and, you know, like, just Kind of working that through that whole thing. It would have been a time to maybe give most people pauses to, like, is this a great time to start a business? But that didn't. That didn't really stop me at all. So we plowed forward, which tends to be kind of how I'm guided through life in that way.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And we found that lovely space, or you found that lovely new studio space, because we've reminisced on previous yoga sessions that my first yoga class was with you, Emily. And as I honestly share, I hated it.
And it wasn't at all.
[00:09:46] Speaker C: The look on my face was so happy until you said that.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Well, allow me to continue to, like, share, because you had nothing to do with it. Everything you did was magic. The problem was here in my mind and every and everywhere else. Right. And so I'm just so grateful because that essentially was the seed plant. Like, the problem was me. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't tending to that plant. You know, I wasn't kind of ready for the responsibility to tend to that plant. But all that. All that lovely seed was planted, like, in that moment, and I'm just so grateful for it. So, yeah, I'm curious how we kind of got to that new building.
[00:10:23] Speaker C: Oh, the new building. So the.
[00:10:26] Speaker E: The.
[00:10:27] Speaker C: So you're talking about the building that still exists to this day? Yes, because we. I started downtown in Laramie. Yeah, the first. The first iteration of Blossom Yoga was downtown Laramie across from Coal Creek Coffee.
And I think that was just a tiny little space that maybe 10 people at most kind of fit into. And I remember going in there and, like, painting, you know, all the things. And then we were there for a few years before we moved into, I think, the building that still exists as the yoga studio, One of the yoga studios in Laramie to this day.
[00:11:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: Yeah. My first. Not my first yoga class, but my first yoga class with you. My friend and I were in college, and we were taking classes when it was down on First Street.
And I remember one time you put us into tree pose, and you had us holding our hands out so that our fingers were just not touching, but almost.
And you just start riffing on, like, what are you holding? What are you carrying? And all of a sudden it was like, oh, the weight of the world. I mean, like, I'm just, like, tears streaming down my face. And I was like, that was the first time for me. Yoga felt, like, spiritually cathartic. You know, it was like. It always felt good in my body, but it Was like, taking those classes with you. Like, it just. It just felt like, oh, this is a new level of yoga. Like, you got through the lower levels of, like, body stuff, and now you're here in, like, the emotional.
Emotional, spiritual stuff. Ultimately, that's why I took your. Your guys's teacher training. And I have never, to this day, regretted it. Not one.
Like, it was so transformative.
The three of you together are just a powerhouse combination. And that time in particular was, like, you've said. It just felt so. Like, it had to be. Like, it was just. It was meant to be.
I'm so grateful.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Steph, you had said something that I picked up on, like how maybe you just. This was the relationship, right? It was the. The. Maybe the business connection. Maybe otherwise you might not be friends. So, like, what was that like? I mean, were you having a sense of each other's, like, strengths, what you were bringing to the table? How did this kind of come to be? Because even, you know, Paul McCartney and John Lennon didn't always see eye to eye, but, you know, they still produced, you know, some great stuff. So, like, I'm wondering, like, did that groove kind of find itself or did it take some time?
[00:12:59] Speaker D: Gosh, I. It feels like it didn't take very much time. It felt like it was.
We were in the groove quite quickly.
I don't know. Step in, you two, if you're. If that doesn't feel right. But it felt to me. Here's what I remember is, like, just feeling so much fire and passion. And, yes, I want to support Emily Brown, which I went through my own journey with that because I was at first more like, I am the lowly assistant. I am the person who is helping support your vision. Meanwhile, the, like, what was sneaking up in my system underneath was like, I am also a teacher. I am here to bring forth what is within me. I know we had that discussion the other day, too, referencing the quote, maybe from the Gita or maybe just from
[00:13:52] Speaker E: great work of your life, from the
[00:13:53] Speaker D: Gospel of Thomas, from the Gospel of Chavez. Okay, there you go.
Okay. Quoted in.
[00:14:00] Speaker C: In the great work of your life. Yeah.
[00:14:03] Speaker D: And.
Yeah, that is when it. That then some tensions came, but it was always, I don't know, you guys, whenever we had tensions. I don't remember ever storming out of a room or anything like that. I just remember holding tension, holding tension, holding tension. And then eventually some. You know, when you can hold the tension, you can hold it with love, and it can become foundation and we could settle in. So I think that We. We probably got along better than the Beatles, frankly.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: Agreed.
[00:14:38] Speaker C: Jess, you want to reflect, because I could. I don't want to spend a bunch of the time, but I have had. I do often reflect about this time in our life because I did know at the time, I think we were all quite aware that something special was really happening. Like, we were very aware that, like, there was synergy, that there was, like, life, that there was flow, that there was. We were very aware that that was happening at the time. But I would have to say now that I. That that's become a time of the past. And as I'm navigating my life, even in, like, a separate location, I often reflect on this time of my life as just being a really, really powerful time of my life for many different reasons. So I can reflect on lots of things, but I don't know if you have anything to add to sort of like the flow of our relationship. Jess.
[00:15:31] Speaker E: Yeah, there's so many, I think so many aspects from the personal to the.
To the professional. And also this sort of. This idea of, like, we knew something big was habit, like, energetically.
And the way this has rippled out.
And again, we can talk about that more in a moment. And the way it is, continuing teacher trainings are continuing, continuing to happen, healing spaces, people are doing amazing work in the world. Even though the three of us aren't facilitating that space in that way, the energy from that time is definitely still radiating out in so many ways. And, you know, it is funny because for me, again, it's such a formative time. We went through.
We went through having children, divorces, marriages. I mean, like, as human beings, we experienced life together, like life and grief and love. Like, there was so much that happened, I think, between us and in our parallel lives, as that was.
As that was going and a coming into ourselves that I think was birthed in that, you know, the yoga teacher Training started in 2011, I think, and Em and I ended up finishing it, just the two of us, with an assistant, Megan Spence, who worked with us. And we had a conscious uncoupling that happened in that last last year. And then. And then the conscious uncoupling, I think, of sorts that happened with Dharma, with the three of us in this particular way, which also was magical in its own process.
But, you know, I do think that there is still something between the three of us. I often will say, like, there is some type of soul contract between the three of us, because even though I have not physically talked to Emily Brown in months and months, and months, I'm like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, I would call her if I had a question about something or if something happened with her family or her kids. There is something. Steph and I still live in the same town and we run a couple projects and business, like, things together and our kids are growing up together and so in the community. And so we have that. But there's something between the three of us that, like, we can go a long time and then just be like, you're the. You're the people I can be real with on some of these levels and layers.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: You know, I'm wondering, the time that the three of you came together was also an interesting time, I think, for yoga's evolution, if you want to call it that in the States. It really seems like it was. I don't know if you want to call it a rocket ship period, but it just seems like it was when yoga really had, like, some tailwind in popularity. And it was interesting how that even manifested even in a smaller town like Laramie. So can you maybe speak a little bit about, like, what it was like knowing that yoga was gaining in popularity? Right. And that sometimes, although we, you know, we try to live mindful, kind lives, sometimes we have to deal with in a capitalist society, the realities of maybe competition. Right. And then how do we show up in what we're doing kind of in that same spirit? Do the three of you, like, navigate that in your own individual ways or together?
[00:19:01] Speaker C: I'll speak. I'll start speaking. I think it was an interesting time just to be in that world again. I think, like, you're. I think we came in sort of at the right moment and had the right opportunities and there was a lot happening, I think, at the time.
And I know it, like, so much has evolved. I'm actually not really a part of the yoga world anymore. But, you know, I think it. It's evolved so much. And I think at that time there was a lot of, like, yoga exercise that was happening that was kind of like taking off. And I think there was something about anchoring it to something deeper and something more kind of grounded and spiritual was something that really drove the three of us at that time. But I will say, and so in that moment in time, in that space that we were in, that felt different and unique. And we felt, at least I did felt really comfortable that we were leaning into that. If you looked at it from out, from like a, from a business perspective, like, we definitely had our niche and we had our target market and like, we I. We felt at that time that we were doing something that was a little different than what that was being done mainstream. So I felt comfortable in terms of business scope, that we were in the correct lane. But I do think that between the three of us, we did have different ideas.
I don't. You can see if you can. All the three of you speak or two of you speak to this. I think we had different visions of ideas of, like, where we wanted it to go. For sure.
I was really, like, I was really driven by wanting it to be big, you know, Like, I really. I wanted to go big and I wanted to be like, you know, I would look at the time, it was like the Sean Korns and, like, you had, like, the kind of, like the famous yoga people. And I definitely, like, I wanted. Like, that was where I wanted to go. And so I think a lot of my decisions and a lot of the things that, like, I did was kind of driving this, like, bigger idea of move it, which, as you can see, never really ended up happening. But I do think that there was a little rub between us in terms of, like, where we wanted what we were doing to go and how we navigated the growing landscape that was like the thriving, growing, like, money, you know, business landscape of what yoga was doing at the time.
[00:21:31] Speaker E: Death. What are your thoughts?
Do you have any on this?
[00:21:37] Speaker C: It was fun to imagine, and I
[00:21:40] Speaker D: don't know, I definitely had internal conflict with that of just like, yeah, wanting it to be big. And then also, I don't know, over the. This question is so interesting. Like, there's even a little bit of me who's just like, oh, gosh, a little. Maybe cringe with the.
I don't know, yoga as a business. I know we all. We all went through this and struggled through it too, just like, cultural appropriation and, like, this is not our, you know, this is not our culture. This is not our lineage. Like, we have. And we're now. We're making money off of it. Like, I still. I still navigate and struggle with that. And I think that's important to bring to these spaces where we talk about it, because it is.
It's a. It's a big deal. And I don't know, like, there's. It's not even a. I go back and forth. It's a. Yeah, okay. I'm just going to stay in the.
In it, with it. And really, ultimately, where I often land is just that. Okay. The. The roots of yoga are roots of healing, self exploration, community activism, rebel, and upholding, you Know, ethics and. And not in a.
I'm better than you. Way more in a. We, you know, we are all individuals together.
[00:23:01] Speaker C: Right.
[00:23:01] Speaker D: So I've learned. I've gained so much from it in that end. And I think that there. I don't know, at the time, I didn't. I remember there was a shift. There was a specific time where I was like, oh, wow, I feel a new level of awakening. And it was still while we were doing waititi, but just to. To that. And there I have gone kind of all the way out into, like, should we even be doing this? Is this even okay for three white chicks to just, like, make money off of, you know? So those questions, I don't remember them way, way back in the day, but I think toward the. Toward the end, and that's not. Didn't have much to do with me leaving first, but, yeah, there I remember having the. Just the different feels of like, what is this? And just like, oh, remembering with such fondness. Just something's happening.
Our period of something's happening altogether where. Where it felt. And we. We did, like, we ventured into, like, some different exploration with, like, Remember when we were trying to, like, write a book? Like, there were so many.
So many fun things that we. That we tried to do. And then, yeah, just good feedback all around. Like, in my own body, the Dharma headaches I would get. I was learning. I was learning. We were all learning together. And yeah, nothing. Nothing better than that. So I don't know, like, I see it all as, like, quite a. Quite a success, you know, personally, and for the three of us and like, the ripple effects, as Jess, you were mentioning, just in terms of. I mean, was it the first waitit in the state of Wyoming?
[00:24:37] Speaker E: I think it was.
[00:24:38] Speaker D: And now there's a bunch.
[00:24:40] Speaker C: Yeah, right, right.
[00:24:42] Speaker E: Like, I can think of three off the top of my head that came out of this yoga teacher training that are across the state, plus a reiki training and a healing center.
[00:24:52] Speaker C: Yeah, there's a lot.
[00:24:53] Speaker E: Like, we. I think we were doing yoga teacher trainings different than a lot of places were doing yoga teacher trainings at the time and really trying to incorporate big yoga. Right. Like the text and Dharma and maybe. Right. Like, maybe the three of us, three white ladies started it. And I think deep down, something in our systems were like, now it is time for us to not do this in this way anymore and do some other things.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: So, yeah, I mean, maybe that's a good segue. Right. Like, you work together for how many years during the teacher training, the 10 years, maybe.
[00:25:39] Speaker C: I mean, the yoga teacher trainings were. Yeah, I think they lasted for like eight years, something like that. Yeah. So, I mean, I would say we work together in a very close collaborative way for 10 years at least.
[00:25:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
So was there a sense. Can you walk us that a little bit into that? Because, you know, we experienced these moments in family, personal relationships, professional relationships, where we just feel like our river tributary is starting to go in a different direction.
Can you maybe take us into what that was maybe like, amongst the three of you? If you're willing. Because we form these close bonds, magic is created and, you know, forgive the Beatles reference again, but, you know, they still go on to make wonderful things, even once, you know, they start going down their own river. So. Yeah. What did that look like?
[00:26:31] Speaker C: I could speak.
[00:26:32] Speaker D: Maybe I should go. Oh, yeah, you go for it.
[00:26:34] Speaker C: I'll speak to it a little bit. I know that you were.
There is a flow to this, but I've been reflecting on this a lot lately because I find it humorous because I think at this moment in time at my life, I feel that I'm like, at another sort of crossroads that I felt that was happening at that time. So I'm having a lot of, like, the recreation of a lot of same emotions or a lot of my same coming up again.
And I would say. I remember that we would say all the time, something's happening. And I always really wanted, like, something kind of like really big to happen, but that's sort of. This is like in the background of my life all the time. It's this, like, I need to be something doing something bigger, greater, grander. And I remember there was so much processing and so much learning and so much growing. And it's just like, I 100% account for Steph and Jess for driving the force of, like, us processing our shadow sides and us, like, really digging in and talking about, like, we use some model. It wasn't the enneagram, but it was like team leader and like charismatic leader. And like, we did these personality things and we did shadow work. And I mean, I would say to this day that, like, the reason that I have most of the self awareness that I carry with me into my rest of my life and my communication skills and my ability to, like, collaborate and speak authentically to the people I'm working with is 100% due to all of the time the three of us spent together in a room, like, doing that stuff.
And so I remember at the time I was hoping this was gonna blow up into some, like, Crazy books and whatever. Whatever is gonna turn into.
And probably both of you would say at different times, maybe the purpose of us in this moment is just to grow ourselves. Like, maybe what's happening. Like, this is happening, you know? And it's like, maybe what's happening is we're just. We've been brought together this moment in time to, like, evolve each other and to evolve ourselves. And I was like, no, like, that can't be it. I know, like, there' got to be bigger. But now that I step away and reflect, I'm like, oh, that's totally what it was, 100%. And so not getting into the nuts and bolts. I think what started to happen was even though you know you're a part of something special, even though you know you're a part of, like, something great, you also understand that everything has a time, you know, everything has its time and place. And Steph, you can speak to how that started, because it started kind of coming up for Steph first, maybe. But I also started coming up for me a lot when I was. I live in the Black Hills of South Dakota now, and we started, like. I started really feeling, like, drawn to going back home. And, like, you could sense that even though it was good and thriving, and even our last teacher training, there was lots of people. It wasn't like, this is dying.
I was very aware of the sense that there were more and more teacher training popping up. And I was very aware that, like, if we wanted to keep going in the same realm, we definitely needed to look at, like, something.
A new pivot or a new angle or whatever that business. I did kind of have that feeling, but we were still going strong. But there was just a really strong sense that, like, the time had come. I can't really explain it other than just, like, it felt like it was. It was coming to a time to close.
[00:30:18] Speaker D: What I didn't know then, that I do know now, and I really like having this information now for myself, is this inhuman design. I am a manifester, and I mechanically, according to human design, I'm there for the beginning.
I'm there for the start of it, to bring my energy to the initiation of it, and then it fades. And I did feel that, you know, it was. That it was the second to last. It was because you guys went on one year, one more year.
So the year before, it was not a big group. I remember it being a pretty small group. And at the time, there was something. Well, and I also. I wanted to have a baby, and I wasn't Getting pregnant. And what I didn't know now that I now see in hindsight, is that I couldn't do both. I couldn't create life and create in the same way.
And that, to me, is how I kind of make sense of it. Though I did struggle with it so much. I struggled with it just in terms of watching the two of you continue to go on. I definitely had my, you know, in my stages of grief, my bargaining and my anger and my whatever else came. And, yeah, it was hard to. It was really hard to let it go. And there were definitely moments even now, even still, like, if Audrey, who's the owner of the studio now, if Audrey requests that, you know, I. And just does this too sometimes come into the yoga teacher training, there is a great, like, yeah, fondness to return and still have a little. Just like a little dip of that time, a little taste of what that time was. It still feels really special.
[00:32:09] Speaker E: Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like I was sort of like the last man standing because the universe was like, I was hanging. I was hanging on and went on to, like, run multiple yoga teacher trainings with the current studio owner. And then, you know, Dharma and the universe were like, really, it's time. Move. Move on. Right. But I think there were these really obvious happenings that I think needed to happen for us to uncouple, because we do.
We do love each other so much. And we were doing such good work and holding, like, such community that I think it was like, oh, yeah. Steph literally was going through the physical process of, you know, trying to create life and wanting that in her life. And then Emily Brown moved.
[00:32:59] Speaker C: She moved.
[00:33:00] Speaker E: And I think that happened at the time that it needed to happen, like, so perfectly. And then at that time as well. And I had said for years to these two, I am never going to be a therapist. Like, never. I will never be a therapist. And that summer after Dharma ended, I, like, went back to school. School to be a therapist. So.
So it was like we each had these really big moments that sort of forced our hand, even though we weren't sure where those moments were going. Like, the other monkey bar hadn't fully appeared yet. We weren't sure what that was going to look like, but we knew. And I probably held on to two monkey bars for a long time. For a long time. I definitely. It forced my hand at going through the grieving process of, like, everything Steph talked about. And, you know, like, one of my best friends, like, moved away as well. So there are multiple things that were being Being grieved at the same time.
And.
And it was. It was what. It was what it needed. It was what it needed to be.
[00:34:12] Speaker C: Yeah. I would. I would say if, like, I think about this and if I had known what was coming, I don't know that I would have let go so easily.
What I realize now is that, like, what we have, like, I have, like, I have not been able to replicate it, like, in my life at all to this point. And not even just in the sense of, like, our friendship and our collaboration, but that was also a time in my life where I feel, like, every bit of the strength that I have, like, as a human being, I got to, like, grow and lean into and use.
So, like, every bit of me talked about this quote, which, you know, is one of my favorite quotes. It's like, I don't. I won't say it fully. Right. But if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. And if you don't bring forth what is within you, what you don't bring forth will destroy you.
And this was a moment of bringing forth everything that I had inside of me, but I didn't know it at the time. Just all of my.
My strengths of being able to write curriculum, being able to build community, being able to speak and inspire and lead and mentor and all of, like, and business. Like, I love business side of things. So these are all, like, things that are really strengths inside of me, and I got to use them all in one setting, along with collaborating and with my two best friends and growing with and having, like, like, thought partners at my disposal. So all cylinders were, like, firing all at the same time. And I've. And I didn't know at the time when I was just like, well, it's time to move on. Like, I feel like it's time to move on. That. That is really difficult to replicate. And still I haven't found a thing that lights me up in the same way that that did. So luckily, I mean, I do think it was time, and I don't regret how things progressed and ended and, like, where it all went. But I think at the time I felt. I didn't know. I just thought that's how people lived, you know, that's just, like, how it was. So I think I would have been a little more reluctant. I would have been holding on to both those monkey bars along with you, Jess, if I had known that it wasn't so easy to stumble upon in life in general.
Jess is the one, of course, who
[00:36:39] Speaker D: knew, because The Jess has a story of being in like, whatever, fifth grade and looking down at the playground and saying, this is our last recess and
[00:36:50] Speaker E: before I go to middle school, I will never have recess again. I was like, I was a monk at like nine.
[00:36:59] Speaker C: She knew.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: I think what made the teacher training that you guys created so beautiful is that from the outside we could see that, Emily. Like, we could see what an awesome, like how strong your guys's bonds were. Your friendship, your deep love for each other, your collaboration and cooperation. And I think at least for myself, maybe I should only speak for myself, but I do think other people saw it too. That, that that was something that just from the outside was really healthy, looked awesome, was an inspiration. And I think I learned so much just from watching you guys in coordination and cooperation with each other in. Because I think like you said, you were doing the shadow work, but you were also doing it right in front of us. You know, like, in a way, you guys were kind of parent models for us, for all of the teacher trainers who went through your program. Like, you were parent models for us. Like, this is how you do the shadow work. This is how you cooperate. This is how you build connection.
This is how you learn. And it was just so inspiring.
[00:38:09] Speaker C: The thing about that is that the one thing I'll say about that, and this is true, it's like, okay, so now, right now in my life, I work for like a corporation. I've had all these other, like, different experiences. And you kind of experience this. Like, oh, this is the forward facing, like, message. Like, how are we going to message this? And like, what's our talk track? And like, whatever it is. And then behind the scenes, you're like, it's kind of like a mess a little bit. But like, the thing about what was happening with the three of us and the things that you saw is it was not bullshit. It was not bullshit. It was like, it was for real. Like, all of that was happening. All of that was genuine. And again, I didn't know at the time how unique that was. And I didn't know that, like, this isn't just how people exist in friendships, in the world. Like, people will come to me and they're like, you think I should go into business with my friend? And I'm like, absolutely. Like, why you not. It's going to be the best experience of your life.
Like, that's what I thought. Because it was, it wasn't bullshit. It was like, it was for real. We were doing it. We were genuinely doing it.
[00:39:19] Speaker A: That was the Beauty of it was like, here are three people who are not masking, who are not putting on, you know, yoga Barbie thing and being like, here we are. They're not perfect and they're telling you. I remember Steph, one time you were like, you come to yoga teacher training, your life explodes. You'll get a divorce.
And I was sitting there like, oh, my God, I don't know if I signed up for that.
And your life does explode when you go to teacher training because you are doing this deep digging work. And you guys did that modeling in such a beautiful way. And it was so real, like, you as your student, I could feel that. And it made me feel safe enough to have my own thing, have my own falling apart, have my own slowly pulling the threads back together and know that it was okay to have that happen, which is such a gift to give people. Because teacher training is intense. And you do go in and you're like, you know, you're performing and you're putting your mask on and you're trying to do all the things, but meanwhile, on the inside, all this work is fermenting. And to have that example of the realness, the authenticity, the invitation, the invitation really into your own, into your own unraveling was awesome because there's not safe space like that everywhere you go.
I. I feel like you guys, after teacher training, you all kind of did different things that was like, sort of similar. Like, Emily, you did body love. Are you still doing that?
[00:40:53] Speaker C: Nope, I'm not doing anything associated with anything. I really. I mean, in. In ways, I guess there are threads, but yeah, it's my life looks. My life and work look very different now than they did then. Yeah.
[00:41:10] Speaker E: And I'd also still throw out there, as someone who sees you from the outside is like, you are still building community. Like, there is still an energy that comes through you. And I think we're all doing that in different. Different and similar ways for sure. So I don't know if you would say that, but I'd say the essence of some of that still comes through.
[00:41:33] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would say for sure that, like, one thing that I learned about myself, like, working in collaboration, that you all too, like, helped me learn and unravel and, like, understand about myself are what qualities are my strengths. And I still see those and I still recognize those thanks to you two, and I lead into them in my life. And that's the beauty of our capacity as human beings. It's like, it's not what we do. It's not like you know, the things we're involved with or what. Whatever. But like the essence of who we are is threaded into like the way we live our life in general. So yes, those threads are there but I have to work really hard to recognize them and I don't. I wouldn't have been able to recognize it without the work that we all did together.
[00:42:20] Speaker A: And then Steph, you started Soma Spirit
[00:42:22] Speaker D: after that was in the midst of it. It was kind of similar at the. At a similar time. But yeah, I became a therapist kind of after the first. First year of teacher training and yeah went into my own private practice a year after that.
So yes, since then and then now I know you're. You're. You all are going to ask us where to find us. My website is a mess.
More. More likely Earth School is the. Is the latest together with Jess Ryan.
[00:42:52] Speaker C: So.
[00:42:52] Speaker D: But yeah, so I've been doing the therapy thing and just I've gone through my own unraveling with that in the last couple years. Just like burning out. Not necessarily with the work, but just being one on one with people instead of more the big group. There was something that was really, really nourishing to me.
That's what I think I miss the most too about. I mean besides the two of you. You guys. But the being with the big group and being. And holding the space to be with everybody. I mean Gina, one of my faves for sure over the years just Horsehead Nebula. I won't ever forget.
[00:43:33] Speaker A: I am the Horsehead Nebula.
[00:43:34] Speaker D: I am the Horsehead Nebula.
Brilliant. I mean to have that happen in like a big.
In a big group and to have the, you know, you can feel all that's going back and forth energetically and to have that process unfold over the eight months and that is so magical. And yeah, I have not been able to. Yeah, I don't think we've been able to recreate that as of yet.
Never again. But something.
[00:44:05] Speaker A: Yeah, there's just.
I love that you bring that up because there's just something really amazing about being in a group and seeing. I think when you're one on one, at least from my neurodivergent brain is always like, oh, like everyone's normal and I'm the weirdo. And then you get in a group and you're like, oh, we're all just. We're all weird. We're all just weird. We're all trying to do figure it out and we're all the weirdos and.
And then sometimes there's people who like really challenge your stuff, you know, and you're like, okay, I gotta open my mind to that or not, or whatever. And I think it's that group work is so powerful because one on one it's really easy to just be like, I'm a strange little creature who's doesn't know what's happening. And then you see everybody else and you're like, oh, I'm welcome to not know anything too, because none of us. And we're all like figuring it out. And then Jess, you went on to get counseling degree and start our real work.
Yes, yes, our real work.
[00:45:01] Speaker E: I know it's not. It's kind of like the rural Jer, you know, from the. It's like there's too many Rs.
But I love.
But I couldn't call it the real work because it came out of Wendell Berry's poem. And if you read his poem, the Real Work, there was a line in there that's like, oh, when we don't know what to do anymore, we've, we've like come to our real work and we don't know which way to go. We've come to our real journey. And that just has felt like a mantra through my life of these moments of like, oh, I'm not quite sure. And I totally know I'm supposed to go in this direction, but I don't know where it's going to go. And that's where the, the work is.
And it's interesting because I was doing energy work and Reiki and all that good stuff before and during yoga, teacher training and life coaching and then, yes, went on to get a therapy degree. I kind of like went backwards. Most therapists then leave being therapists to be life coaches, energy workers. I started the other way around and, you know, weave those things together and I'm still doing that as well as seeking this. How do we take this back into the group? So I'm getting a PhD right now and how do I take what I do in a one on one room and university?
And Steph and I are plugging away in Earth School in ways, right? Because the world is doing some things right now. It's doing some things.
[00:46:39] Speaker B: You know, I was wondering, Emily, you touched on this a little bit. You know, you collaborate so closely for 10 plus years. So there's all these formative moments and experiences and wisdom nuggets to hopefully take with you.
Like what wisdom nuggets did you all take from that experience into what you're doing now? Do you think like, you know, and these could be even things absolutely. To do things maybe not to do. Or how did it really inform this chapter you're currently in and maybe the chapters in between?
[00:47:11] Speaker C: Well, I have a. Maybe this is too literal of an example, but this sticks out in my mind of just an example of the exercises we used to do together in.
In relation with each other, but in service of our business together. So it's like when I reflect on this, I'm like, it's. We did the craziest stuff, which doesn't. It doesn't seem that weird until you step out of that world. Now I'm in a very different world and I like reflect on what we did and I'm like, is that weird? Like, that's weird. We did that, right?
One example is as we were closing, as part of this, like, closing chapter, that we knew we were moving on. We knew that we were gonna have to like grieve what we had and give it a proper send off and think about it and grieve it and move on. We went out into the woods and started like, did a fire and we wrote down like our. Our deepest fears, like what our biggest fears are, like our deepest, darkest fear. And we read it to each other and then we burned it.
And I. That still like just that recognize, like recognizing what actually is my deepest fear and how much that informs, like how I navigate my life, like, if you're not aware of that, and that comes up all the time, like it's coming up in my life right now. It's just being like, oh, yeah, like I'm doing that because this is actually what I'm afraid of, right? The real thing I'm afraid of is like I actually named it and burned it with my best friends. Who does that? That's so weird.
So just, you know, some of those exercises that we did with each other inform, like, they still get kind of clicked on. And I recognize them at pieces of my life of being like, oh, this is coming from this part, or, oh, this is happening because. Or whatever. And then also I had friends that reflected back to me also my power and like my strength and my ability. And so I trust that. And I lean into that in my life at moments as well. So that's kind of some of the little bits and nuggets that we did. And the thing is, is we did that just as, I don't know, probably just as people existing in the world, but partially as like a business exercise. And that's funny because if I were to try to get my team that I work with now to do something like that. I don't know if it would be as well received, but it sure has informed the way that I navigate my life.
[00:49:46] Speaker E: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Every week, we would have a Dharma meeting. Steph towards the end would get her Dharma headaches, but we would also.
The universe was telling us, and we would pull a card. Like, each of us would pull a card every week, and we would like, what.
What does Dharma like? What does our business. What does this need? What do we need within the business?
And then to read that, but also, like, have each of ourselves interpret it for ourselves, but then sort of our blind spots, like, what the others saw in that and what we saw in each other. And so Emma was funny because I put down ceremony, like, just the importance of ceremony, whatever that looks like for people, but ritual and ceremony.
And I've been thinking about that and, like, missing that a little bit, but that is something that I return back to when I feel unmoored a little bit that came out of this experience. And then also, you said the word trust, and I wrote that down right before you said that of, like, oh, this.
You know, one of my takeaways from this, it's kind of mixed in with, I think, in a lot of ways, one, that this. We were like, whatever that saying is, right? Like, being greater than whatever we created was greater than the sum of our individual parts. The three of us together had something really, that created something that was even bigger than the three of us, I think, individually could send out there into the world energetically.
And then this idea of, well, can I trust myself? And in the space of two other people and can I trust them? And there was a lot of healing and alchemy that happened in that. And I think one of my takeaways is like, oh, yeah, I can trust this life force that's within me and this source and this knowing and some of these skills. And I can also trust these humans that I get to share this experience with. And I don't think a lot of people get that experience.
[00:51:53] Speaker A: That's rare.
[00:51:54] Speaker E: Steph, anything for you. Sweet.
[00:51:57] Speaker D: So, I mean, there's so much as you're saying that just the. Like, to know and be known, like, to be vulnerable with one another and then to work with my own parts to allow me to be able to show up to you. You know, like, it's so. There's so much value in it. And, like, people give up, I think, easily. And, you know, the fact, Em, that your. Your team won't Go out in the woods or you might not.
[00:52:26] Speaker C: They might.
[00:52:26] Speaker D: You might not be received well, maybe.
Maybe there's something to think about there, right? Like, the fact that they won't are you in the right place, right? Like, they're.
Be with the people who. Who want your weird.
Be with the people who are. Who allow you. Who encourage you to be you. And like, it's so. It was so fun. There are so many fun moments of like. Like watching my two best friends, like, getting to, like, be in their element. And even now, I mean, em. Like when we came to see you in South Dakota and like, watched your video of your trail talk, you know, and I was. And we were like, yeah, there she is, right? Like, there is our bestie, right, Doing. Doing her thing. And like, yeah, it's such a joy to.
To, you know, lift each other up. And I think that the one other thing that was coming through was, like, from the Gita, which is the, you know, move toward your. I. I don't know the wording anymore, but, like, toward your excitement, right? Like, focus on your thing and then let go of the fruits, right? Like, that was a real experience in this every, you know, probably every weekend and through the whole darn thing. Like, through the whole cycle, like, yeah. And how we grow and change. I think we did a really good job of. Of growing together and then releasing it when it was time in our own. In our own timing over the course. And yeah, just. It's a magical experience. Like, so cool to have this reflection time too together many years later, unexpectedly.
Thank you for the invitation.
[00:54:17] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:54:18] Speaker A: Well, you guys are still in our collective memories as, like, this. That time was so formative, and I, again, I should probably only speak for myself, but I know that I speak for others in my teacher training cohort. Like, wow, it changed our lives.
It changed the trajectory of our lives inward and outward. And that's such a huge gift. And I, you know, being a solo human being on the planet, I always think, like, oh, I don't matter that much. I don't matter that much.
[00:54:48] Speaker E: But
[00:54:51] Speaker A: what do I want to say? You know, these cadres, the cadre that you guys have together was so powerful. Like, it reminds me that, like, oh, we're more powerful than we think. Like, I mean, I may never do something like you guys have done, but your what you have done has echoed out and echoed out and echoed out. And I would say that this podcast is an echo of that.
[00:55:12] Speaker D: There you go.
[00:55:13] Speaker B: No, absolutely, Gina. I think that's an amazing point, and I Mean, as Gina just said, this is how the universe works. And the three of you were very much working your magic and yoga discussion, I'll say definitively, wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the three of you.
And along with that, the three of you reached out at a moment where even in my own life, I was. It kind of felt like I was in class four or five rapids, you know, really, really going at it with the ore. And I knew I was going somewhere, but I didn't know exactly where. I didn't know if there was going to be some brightness, you know, down the line. And these three wonderful human beings, radiant lights, reached out and really showed that there was a bright path ahead.
And I just want to, from the depths of my soul, thank the three of you very much.
[00:56:15] Speaker C: Yeah, it's funny listening to you all, like, talk about it, really, because when you talk about it, I'm like, oh, me too. Like, I've. I'm so grateful, too. Like, it doesn't really actually feel like something like I did or we, like, because it. Because I'm very much aware that it was. It was like a synergistic. Like, I don't even know how I got to be a part of it. I don't even know how I got, like, wrapped up in all of it. But, like, I feel the exact same way that both of you feel as well. Is that it? It was that for me and my. In my life as well. So I feel like a participant in all of it. Not, like, nothing other than that. Just, like, sheer gratitude for the opportunity to be able to experience something like that and then experience it in the realm of, like, other people who happen to. To be able to share in the journey. So thanks to both of you and stoked for what you're both doing right now, too. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:57:16] Speaker D: You know, Gina, just what you said, too, with the, like, oh, I'm just an individual. I don't make much of a difference. But it's very clear from discussion. Right. Like, how much encountering one another, like, I guess that's one of my takeaways just from our talk right now, is just, like, going to encounter one another because we will be a force of change for and with one another.
[00:57:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:57:45] Speaker A: I just wrote a piece about community and how, contrary to what we might think, that being in community is. Is really about individuality in some regards, because you have to be authentic and, like, show up as who you are, because if you're not authentic, then those connections can't grow.
And I think that is where we like, sorry to get a little off topic, but as, as the world right now, it's like, I think people are struggling with their authenticity and like, how do I show up and not feel like a weirdo? And I'm like, just be the weirdo. Just show up and be a weirdo because it's great. And you know, like, I struggled with that in our teacher training. You know, I showed up and I felt like I was kind of a dark weirdo, the horse head nebula girl with a million wolves inside of her heart, you know, like, and you guys gave me the space to just inhabit that and just be that. And it was so transformative. And I just had an interaction with my neighbor who I've lived next to for like 15 years the other day, and we were so authentic and it felt so good. It was like, oh, I'm. I actually am getting to know you a little bit and it's not like, hi, how's the weather? You know, And I think that's kind of what you guys embodied was like, dig in, put your hands in the dirt of this work. And like, you know, it's not going to be perfect. It may not be pretty either, but you can trust in the process and trust in yourself. And we got to see you guys trust in each other, which was so beautiful. Such a, such an amazing gift. And also I want to say that I would have never met Brendon if I hadn't come to your guys teacher training and signed up to be a mentor. And like, from the moment I met Brendon I always felt such kind, loving connection with him. Like, he's like the brother I didn't even know I had out there in the world. So, you know, just. And my best friend Sarah, you know, like, Sarah, I would have never met Sarah and the minute I met her, it was like, like, oh my God, we're gonna be friends. Just how it is.
Yeah, so many sweet connections.
[00:59:45] Speaker C: I would say that, I would say real quick that it's like a reflection, this of what we're all realizing more and more in our society of how to be with each other, you know, and so I think there, there is this like, this constant kind of like focus that seems like it's been on like individualism and like that is true and it is important in our own authenticity and like digging in. But I think where is, and where a lot of like our personal root has stemmed from is like, how do you do that in relation with each other? Like, how do you like everything that we are Doing is in, like, relationship with each other. And I think as we, you know, post Covid, and as we, like, we see what's happening in the country and we see, like, what we're. What we're really craving and not very good at anymore is like, being in relation with each other, you know? And so I think that, like, we got to practice it in a really safe, contained way. And then we got to create opportunities for people to, like, do their stuff in conjunction with a group of people. And that's a powerful thing. And I think that, like, taking. Taking that and then continuing to do that in the world is like what we. The bridge that we're still needing to gap in. In our life. It's like, how do we. How do we do this in. In relationship with each other in this world today?
[01:01:09] Speaker A: And that was one of the themes that you guys had in our teacher training. And I remember that kind of breaking my brain a bit because I'm a bit of a outsider. I've always been kind of, like, on the fringe, you know, and it was like, oh, this work is relational. What? But it's true. It's relational interiorly, but also exteriorly, you know, like how we are out in the world with others.
H. You guys are such great models. Thank you.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
So reflecting on all those wonderful memories from the past, we're in the present now. So where can people learn more about all three of you? Or what would you like to share? Where can people find more about who you are and what you're doing online? Emily, we'll start with you.
[01:01:54] Speaker C: Oh, well, not. Not a whole lot going on right now. So you can find me on Instagram and you can be my friend, and I'd love to watch you, the real Emily B. I'd love that. Other than that, what I'm doing currently in.
In my current iteration of myself and my life is I work for a bicycle company, sram. It's a bike component company. And I work as a field guy, just like a representative for the car for the company. So I travel around in, like, a little market and I visit bike communities and retail shops. And I'm kind of living in that world right now. But also you can find me at Spearfish Trails Coalition as well. And a huge piece of kind of what I brought me alive in kind of the Blossom Yoga Yoga space is just like activism and advocacy and creating community. And I'm doing that in the same way right now in relation to just building trail infrastructure and working with community and government and stakeholders to bring Access to the outdoors, to more people. So that is what's keeping me lit up these days.
[01:03:07] Speaker A: Nice.
[01:03:07] Speaker B: Nice.
Yeah, Jess.
[01:03:10] Speaker E: Yeah, you can find me at a couple different places, but our real work website and Instagram as well. And then Earth School. So on Patreon, we have Earth School with Jess and Steph. So the two of us have all sorts of like just talking about the shifts and conscious, what it's like to be in this human body while we're navigating some big space. Spiritual, energetic, mental, emotional shifts. It's kooky times. So we still kind of work in that capacity together. And between those two places, you'll hear all the other things that are happening.
[01:03:52] Speaker B: Thanks.
[01:03:52] Speaker D: And actually just this morning we taught on this topic of building capacity for your authenticity because it is threatening to the nervous system.
Right. It does send us into threat response. And so how. The how, right? We're all saying, like, be authentic, be the weird one, but the how and the finding community around it. So no other building on your sales pitch for Earth School, Jess. We're having a great time there. And so that's on Patreon. And then, yeah, my website, as I said, is in shambles. It's somaspirit.com and I'm not taking any individual clients right now. I'm also working on a.
My creative side gig right now is being Sunny Venusian on Instagram and a little bit on Earth School as well. Look up Sunny Venusian. She's a British accented embodiment of the divine mother, Reparenting, helping to reparent, the inner child of the grown ups.
[01:04:56] Speaker A: Oh my God, I love her.
[01:04:56] Speaker B: That sounds cool.
[01:04:57] Speaker C: So much.
[01:04:58] Speaker A: I love her so much. Our last question is, could you each choose one word about what yoga means to you? And that's also going to be cut into our opening credits.
So, yeah, one word. Steph, do you want to go first?
[01:05:14] Speaker D: I don't have it yet.
[01:05:16] Speaker A: Emily. Okay. Emily, do you want to go? Jessica?
[01:05:21] Speaker C: I would say Healing
[01:05:25] Speaker E: Connection
[01:05:30] Speaker D: Foundation.
[01:05:33] Speaker B: Wonderful, wonderful. Emily, Jess, Steph, thank you for all the moments that you reached out not just to Gina and I, but to other people and for all the good work that you have done and are doing in all the different ways and all the different places.
Thank you so much for who you are and what you do and thanks for joining Yoga Scutcheon.
[01:05:55] Speaker D: Thank you for having us.
[01:05:56] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having us and giving this opportunity to reflect.
I needed this. So thank you so much and thank you for what you're doing in the world now.
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[01:07:06] Speaker A: Sam.
